When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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