I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
