you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
