He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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