can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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