I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
