so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
