I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
