then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
