so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
