i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My dick has a subreddit
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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