do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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