so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
