she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
