Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
