how can u be prego again
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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