I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I cockslap morals
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
