he thought i was a dude.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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