Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize