doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
