so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
