Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
