Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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