super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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