okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
