I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize