she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
