I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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