Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
