Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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