My Higher Power is John Stamos
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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