I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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