I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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