New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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