I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
