I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
