thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
