So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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