How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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