I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think i got beer on your cat.
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