Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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