i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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