A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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