ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
