My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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