whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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