Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
