Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
