jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We named our party play list daddy issues
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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