I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
