cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
