I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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