so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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