the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
