I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
