Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
