I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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