Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize