ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
