To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
