I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
...so i touched it.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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