Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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