Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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