i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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