Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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