I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
