please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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