his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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